Thoughts from Sunday I

I got a lot done when I cut myself off from internet.  Almost halfway through the NaNo, and I was at least able to settle on and back away from a short story draft.  Now, onto review.

Bored?  Type in 'how to redeem your soul' into google.

Market research for a story, I swear.

I'm doing a little writing besides Nano, but I've mostly started a brainstorm list (the item above relates to this) of ideas I want to pick up in December.  That, and I think I'm going to take another try at a horror/suspense set over in Oella Mill.  That should be fun.

And... pencils down.

I don't like to think of life as a bunch of tests.  That's an unhealthy perspective -- it's combative, aggressive, antagonistic... I'd go on, but my thesaurus is upstairs and my foot hurts.  Bottom line, life shouldn't be about tests.  It should be about moments where we laugh and find joy in other people.  It should be about those moments where we just slip into that 'nothing' state of mind, content, and happy, and doing what we do because it's who we are.

'No mind' is different than mindless.  But that's a different sort of blog.

Nevertheless, lately I kind of feel like I've hit a number of splits in the road, defined by Win or Fail.  Maybe that's perspective I needed to kick me into decision.  Or maybe that's just what existing does... if the world worked precisely how I wanted it, I wouldn't feel tested at all.

And god, I'd be miserable.  Fantasies should be just that.  I think most people would be miserable if they came true.

So what I'm hoping is, if I make the right decisions, I can move past this phase.  I'm lucky enough that I think I know what they are... at least, from this side of 27.  I'm really curious what this will look like when I'm 80.  Will I remember all of the emotion, the details, etc?

I'll probably just realize.. that this is when I learned to be stubborn.

I promise Myself...

Perspective changes in a few feet of water.

Promises to Myself.

1. I promise to be a person who has integrity, honor, courage, compassion, mercy, and trust in herself.
2. I promise that I will surround myself with people that value the same characteristics.
   
3. I promise that I will live, and love, my life, and spend that time as I want to, not as dictated by others.
4. I promise to be so strong that nothing can break me.
5. I promise that I will always take responsibility for my own actions, and understand that I can't do the same for others'.
6. I promise that I will respect my physical and mental well-being.
7. I promise to be completely honest with myself.
8. I promise to only give myself to healthy relationships.
9. I promise that I will never make excuses for unacceptable behavior others.
10. I promise to forgive myself.
11. I promise to learn from my experiences, and walk away from each with greater clarity, not baggage.
12. I promise that my actions should not be directed by my feelings alone.
    
13. I promise to give myself, 100%, to that which I choose to pursue.
14. I promise to never squash the little voice.
15. I promise to keep my word to myself and others, because it is mine to give, and because my word is something I value.

This list is important, I think. I may add to it; however, I shouldn't take any of these things away.